The Gundam Wing Dating Game
by Faye My Funny Valentine
Summary: Wufei gets dragged onto a dating game show (re-uploaded...yay...)


Don't ask me what I was on when I wrote this, I'm still trying to remember. Okay, standard warnings: swearing, yaoi, and twister... that being said... here it is:  
  
  
  
"Gundam Wing Dating Game"  
by Shinigami Baby (thanks to Yasashii)=^_^=  
  
  
"Duo! You're heavy! Get off meee!!" Quatre cried.  
  
"Hey Q, this was YOUR idea, don't tell ME to get off. Besides, I couldn't get off you if I wanted." Duo said. "Heero's gotta get off ME first."  
  
Heero snorted. "Please, you're enjoying this."  
  
Duo blushed. "S-so!?"  
  
Trowa sweatdropped.   
  
Wufei grumbled something in Chinese, one can only guess it was about either women or injustice. And since there were no women present, it must have been about injustice.  
  
"AAH!" Quatre shouted. "Who just did that!?" He was turning a dark shade of red.  
  
Trowa coughed.  
  
Duo and Heero sweatdropped. "And people always think WE'RE the sex maniacs, Heero." Duo commented.  
  
"Will someone spin that damn wheel already!?" Wufei complained.  
  
Quatre reached over to spin the wheel, but fell over ontop of Trowa. All five boys fell into a pile of limbs and Duo's hair.  
  
Wufei popped his head out from the bottom of the pile. "Everyone better get off me right this instant!"  
  
The four other boys scrambled to get up and stood in a line.. Wufei stood infront of them, arms behind his back.   
  
"I have had it with you guys! These 'party games' of yours are just an excuse for you to touch eachother, and quite frankly, IT PISSES ME OFF!" Wufei started. "If you're going to get all touchy-feely, please don't do it in my presence, or you will taste my justice!"  
  
Duo snickered.  
  
"MAXWELL!" Wufei hollered. "What the HELL is so damn funny!?"  
  
" 'Taste your justice'?" Duo said, trying not to laugh. "It just sounds so... so sick."  
  
"Yeah, Wufei, it sounds like your jealous that I have Duo and Trowa has Quatre." Heero said. "You want a boyfriend, don't you?"  
  
"Absolutely NOT! I'm quite straight, thank you!" Wufei said.  
  
Quatre sat on the floor Indian-style and pulled a rather large book out of Hammerspace¹.  
  
"What are you reading, koi?" Trowa asked, sitting on the floor with his snookums.  
  
"I'm going through this guide for 'Moblie Suit Gundam Wing'. I'm gonna see who pairs up with Wufei the best out of the girls." Quatre explained.  
  
"You're so smart! I love you!" Trowa said, kissing Quatre on the cheek.  
  
Quatre smiled. "Hey, I have an idea..."  
  
"What is it?" Wufei asked, fearing the worst.  
  
"Duo, here. Call everyone on.... this page." Quatre said, handing Duo the book. The page had the phone numbers of the female cast of 'Moblie Suit Gundam Wing' on it. "Tell them to come over."  
  
"Okay, Q." Duo complied and went for the phone.  
  
  
About an hour later, Quatre's living room was occupied with the fairer cast of the show. Dorothy, Hirde, Catherine, and Noin were sitting on the couch. Sally Po and Lady Une were on the love seat. Relena was sitting on the recliner.   
  
Catherine sighed. "Why are we here? There are perfectly unscarred people I could be hurling sharp objects at, you know."  
  
Quatre frowned. 'Geez, why does she hate me so much?' "Uh, we're here tonight in my living room to... set Wufei up on a date with one of you..."  
  
"I have better things to do than THIS! Treize-sama is probably wondering where I am!" Lady Une protested.  
  
  
At Treize's...  
  
"B3." Trieze said, calmly.  
  
"You sank my battleship!" Milliardo cried in frustration.  
  
  
Back with the others...  
  
"Don't worry, this won't take long." Quatre said, faking a smile. "You'd probably be disqualified in the first round anyway..." He mumbled under his breath.  
  
"WHAT WAS THAT!?" Lady Une demanded.  
  
"N-nothing!" Quatre insisted.  
  
"Well, what about me? I'm sure Zechs is worried sick about me!" Noin said.  
  
  
At Treize's...  
  
"It was Mrs. White, in the study, with the lead pipe!"   
  
"DAMN YOU, Peacecraft!"  
  
  
Back with the others...  
  
Quatre sweatdropped. "Okay, let's just get this over with. I wanna go to bed."  
  
Duo looked at the clock. "Quatre, it's not even 8 o'clock."  
  
"I never said I was going to sleep, Duo!" Quatre yelled.  
  
"Ohh, I get it. You want some of this, do ya?" Trowa asked, teasingly. "Well what if I'm not in the mood?"  
  
Quatre snorted. "You're always in the mood."  
  
"That's true." Trowa said, pouting. "Damn, I can never win."  
  
"Look, are we gonna get this damn thing over with or what?!" Wufei shouted.  
  
Duo put an arm around Wufei. "Relaaaax, guy. Heero will be out inna sec."  
  
"Don't you touch me, Maxwell!" Wufei said, pushing Duo's arm off him. He folded his arms across his chest and "Hmph"-ed.  
  
Quatre knocked on the bathroom door. "Heero, did you fall in?"  
  
Heero grunted.  
  
Quatre grimaced. "Uh... looks like we can start without Heero. Sounds like he'll be in there for a while."  
  
"Damn it, looks like I'm not getting any tonight..." Duo said.  
  
"I think you can go without for at least one night, Duo." Trowa said.  
  
"Look who's talking! Have YOU ever had to?!" Duo asked.  
  
Trowa blushed. "Well... no, not really...."  
  
"AAAAAAAAARGH! I'm sick of having to hear about EVERYONE'S SEX LIVES!" Wufei shouted. "You're like a bunch of WOMEN!"  
  
"HEY! What makes you think I'M the woman?!" Duo protested.  
  
Wufei's nose bled a little. "That's not what I meant!!!"  
  
"Duo, you ARE the woman though!" Heero called from the bathroom.  
  
Everyone fell anime style.  
  
Duo stood up and wiped the sweat from his forehead. "Okay, let's do this." Duo whipped a hanful of pink index cards out of Hammerspace and smiled a cheezy fake smile. A jazzy, snappy version of "Just Communication" played in the background and suddenly Quatre's living room was a gameshow.   
  
Wufei looked around. "I have GOT to find out how these guys do this stuff..."  
  
Duo smirked and walked over to Wufei and handed him the index cards. "These are the questions you'll be asking today's contestants. Where will Mr. Chang and the lucky winner(no Quatre, not you) be going, Mr. Announcer?" Duo asked.  
  
"The lucky couple will be heading to one of Quatre's mansions for a weekend of fun, sun, and of course, JUSTICE!" a voice boomed. It was the typical announcer guy voice, it didin't belong to anyone in paticular.  
  
Wufei smiled at the mention of the word 'justice'. 'This won't be so bad afterall...' he mused.  
  
"Okay, that being said, on with the show!" Duo said, in cheezy game-show host fashion. He was enjoying himself a bit too much. "Wu-man, ask your questions when ready."  
  
Wufei frowned. "My name ISN'T Wu-man, Maxwell..."  
  
"Whatever, just ask the first question." Duo said, leaning on the podium.  
  
"Okay, onna number one... if you were a flower, which flower would you be and why?" Wufei asked, sweatdropping. 'Who came up with these questions??' He wondered.  
  
Relena cleared her throat. "If I were a flower, I would be a dandelion because they're so pretty."  
  
Duo snickered. "Oi, Relena, a dandelion's nothing more than a pretty weed." This held somewhat true. Duo had always seen her as a weed blocking his way to Heero.  
  
Relena blushed. "Oh, in that case, I'm a-"  
  
"Nope, you said dandelion." Duo cut her off. "Wufei, you can ask your next question."  
  
"Okay. Anou... Onna number two, what is your definition of Justice?" Wufei asked, throwing the cards to the floor.  
  
"HEY! That's not one of the questions, Wufei!!!" Duo shouted. He glanced frantically at Quatre. Quatre seemed... busy at the moment his hands were full of... well, Trowa. Duo blushed and turned away. 'Damn sex maniacs...'  
  
"I'll ask whatever questions I damn well please, Maxwell." Wufei said calmly. "Well, onna number two?"  
  
"Justice... my definition of justice is this: Assholes getting what they deserve. THAT is justice."  
  
Wufei's eyes got all sparkly. "Okay, next question, onna number two: Who are the ones fit to serve justice?"  
  
"The strong of course." She answered.  
  
Wufei grinned stupidly. "...A-and are you strong?" He asked.  
  
"Oh yes." Was the answer.  
  
Little pink hearts floated around Wufei's head. He jumped down off the chair he was sitting on and ran behind the border. He looked at the podium for 'onna number two' and glanced up to see... Sally Po. Wufei sighed happily and fainted. Sally hopped over the podium and fanned Wufei's face.  
  
"Wake up! C'mon!" She pleaded.  
  
But Wufei was too far in dream-land to wake up now. Where he was, he was running through a field of flowers hand in hand with Sally as "Ooh Baby I Love Your Way" played somewhere in the background.  
  
Duo sweatdropped as if he could see what Wufei was dreaming and shrugged for the cameras. "Uhh, that's todays show, minna-san. See you next time, heh heh." The gameshow turned back into Quatre's living room.  
  
Heero finally emerged from the bathroom. "Woof, if you're gonna go in there, light a match... hey, did I miss it?"  
  
Trowa looked away from Quatre for a moment to nod at Heero, then resumed his business.  
  
Heero's eye twitched. "Duo-chaaan..." It sounded more sinister than affectionate.  
  
"Hai, koi?" Duo answered.  
  
"You did it without me?" Heero asked, reaching behind his back.  
  
"W-well, I thought you'd be in there a while and Wufei was getting kinda unruly so I figured- GYAAAH!!!" Duo shouted the last part as Heero drew a large hammer from Hammerspace and proceeded to chase Duo around the house.  
  
  
THE END  
  
  
¹ Hammerspace- this is that magical place that anime characters reach into, usually pulling out something insane, like a hammer, hence the name "Hammerspace". Usually located behind said anime character's back.  
  
Oh geez, what was I on when I wrote this?? Arigatou to Yasashii-chan for a couple ideas!! Anycrap, review if ya want. Don't like the yaoi, too damn bad =þ I know I shouldn't be writing this since I have another fic I should be working on, but this idea just popped into my head sooo nyaah! Think of it as holding you over until "Scary, Scary" is done, heehee. Well, Sayanora kiddies!  
Ja ne, minna-san!!! 


End file.
